Well hello, blog-readers! It's been a while, eh? I have a lot of excuses for not updating in almost a month: Busy at work, dealing with a death in my family, hanging out with Chance every possible moment... But in reality, I haven't updated simply because not much has changed in my dating life. And that's what this blog is supposed to be about, right?
Chance is still very much a part of my life, and I am still very happy about this. No, we're not officially a couple yet. But no, neither of us are seeing other people. And yes, I would love for him to be my boyfriend whenever he's ready to make that jump. Well really, I don't consider it much of a jump at all. From my perspective, absolutely nothing would change. But I know it's a jump for him, so I'm being patient and enjoying the time I have with him.
And really, that's it. No recent blind dates, no crazy stories, no articles or TV interviews. Thank goodness! So is this blog going to die out? Yeah, probably. I mean, I'll still update if I actually do have something to say... But right now, there just isn't much to say.
I got a comment lately that asked why I chose to blog about this. I feel like I've answered this hundreds of times, but I'll say it again in case any of you are wondering the same thing. I never expected that anyone other than my close friends and my mom would want to read this. I decided to blog about my blind dates so that I wouldn't have to repeat the details a bunch of times - my friends could just read about it. It was easier. I also wanted a part of this project to fulfill the more creative part of my personality. The past two years, I've done Project 365, and since I'm taking fewer pictures this year, I needed something else to fill that space.
Chance is in Seattle this weekend visiting a friend. A trip of which I am very jealous, as I've never been to Seattle! So I'm working on getting some things in order around my apartment and then probably helping a friend move later today. Happy Sunday!
Sunday, April 1, 2012
Sunday, March 4, 2012
28 Days Later
Goodness, I haven't updated in a LONG time! My apologies. I've thought of it a few times, but the internet at my apartment has been spotty lately, and it seems like every time I want to update I'm not able to get online. I should get that fixed.
Things with Chance are still going very well. Tomorrow will be one month since our first date. We hung out for most of the day today and went to see "The Artist," which was quite good (not surprising, of course, given all of the awards it won). He's incredibly sweet. It seems like every time I feel like I've said something stupid or screwed things up in some way, he responds in the absolute perfect way. Like last night, I had a really awful headache - verging on a migraine - and couldn't really do anything but lie in the dark and try not to move. And instead of feeling like he was wasting his time (which I might have in his shoes) or just leaving and checking in on my later, he got me an ice pack for my head, turned off all of my lights, and laid next to me. Like, seriously, he's amazing.
No, we are not officially a couple yet. That's in his hands. He knows that I want to be and, while I understand his point of view and I certainly am not trying to pressure him, I'm a little frustrated because I don't feel like anything would change. I guess I'm not sure what's stopping him from making this "official." Neither of us are dating other people or want to be, we see each other two or three times a week, and he texts or calls me almost every day on his own accord. How would anything be different if we were in a relationship? It WOULDN'T be. The only difference is that I could introduce him to people as my boyfriend instead of awkwardly being like "This is, umm, Chance..."
Meh. Whatever. Really, this is a very minor annoyance in the grand scheme of things and I'm trying very hard not to pressure him in any way. Which is hard for me, because I'm a pretty assertive person, as you all know...But I'm trying to chill out for once!
Very busy week coming up. I'll try and update again in a few days (I have a few things I want to post about but wasn't able to while my internet was down) but I make no promises! We'll see how much time I have...
Things with Chance are still going very well. Tomorrow will be one month since our first date. We hung out for most of the day today and went to see "The Artist," which was quite good (not surprising, of course, given all of the awards it won). He's incredibly sweet. It seems like every time I feel like I've said something stupid or screwed things up in some way, he responds in the absolute perfect way. Like last night, I had a really awful headache - verging on a migraine - and couldn't really do anything but lie in the dark and try not to move. And instead of feeling like he was wasting his time (which I might have in his shoes) or just leaving and checking in on my later, he got me an ice pack for my head, turned off all of my lights, and laid next to me. Like, seriously, he's amazing.
No, we are not officially a couple yet. That's in his hands. He knows that I want to be and, while I understand his point of view and I certainly am not trying to pressure him, I'm a little frustrated because I don't feel like anything would change. I guess I'm not sure what's stopping him from making this "official." Neither of us are dating other people or want to be, we see each other two or three times a week, and he texts or calls me almost every day on his own accord. How would anything be different if we were in a relationship? It WOULDN'T be. The only difference is that I could introduce him to people as my boyfriend instead of awkwardly being like "This is, umm, Chance..."
Meh. Whatever. Really, this is a very minor annoyance in the grand scheme of things and I'm trying very hard not to pressure him in any way. Which is hard for me, because I'm a pretty assertive person, as you all know...But I'm trying to chill out for once!
Very busy week coming up. I'll try and update again in a few days (I have a few things I want to post about but wasn't able to while my internet was down) but I make no promises! We'll see how much time I have...
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
Taking a "Chance"
A few days ago I talked to my mom on the phone. The first thing she said: "Is everything OK with Chance?" Apparently by being fairly vague on this blog, it gave the impression that something bad had happened. She also told me that one of her friends (hi, Sara!) wanted more details. "Inquiring minds want to know," she said. So here are a few details!
Things are fine with Chance. Great, actually. I just got off the phone with him. He's pretty fantastic. I've seen him...I don't know, four or five times at this point? We've spoken in some way almost every day, even if it was just a few texts back and forth. He's taking me to the orchestra this Friday night. He's great.
Sara apparently wanted to know what I ended up making him for dinner a little while back! I made pizza. Not from SCRATCH, but I bought a crust, and pizza sauce, and cheese and vegetables and put it all together, which is a big step for me! We also had caesar salad and I made brownies for dessert. They weren't terribly good, unfortunately. The good news is I also had ice cream, which saved it.
I guess I've been so vague on here for a few reasons. First, I want to respect his privacy! I doubt he wants his personal life spread all over the internet. He hasn't even READ this blog (though he knows it exists of course), which should tell you how little interest he has in it. Second, I just don't want to jump the gun. I'm very ready to be in a relationship with him. He knows that. But he's not ready for that yet, which I of course respect. And if that never happens...If he for some reason decides that he's not interested in me anymore or if I say something dumb and drive him away, the last thing I want is a written record of every cute little thing about our time together. I'm the kind of stupid person who would read it over and over and cry and it just wouldn't be a good thing. So just in case that relationship never happens...I'm keeping things vague on this blog.
It's hard for me to sit back and wait for him to be ready, for lack of a better term. I like him so much. I really want to be able to introduce him to people as my boyfriend, and not second guess myself about if I'm calling him too often, and meet his friends, and feel solid about having a future together. I totally understand that I'm moving quickly, though, and I don't blame him for not being ready for that! We haven't known each other terribly long and I wouldn't want him to agree to a relationship without being sure that's what he wants. BUT it's hard for me to wait. I feel like a little kid in the backseat, saying, "Are we there yet? Are we there yet?" repeatedly until the driver gets annoyed and snap. So I'm trying not to ask if we're there yet. But that's hard. I wanted to let him drive, but I'm not a good passenger.
Either we'll get there eventually, in which case I'll be thrilled, or he'll decide to drop me off on the side of the road and I'll end up back where I started. But I do hope we get there.
Things are fine with Chance. Great, actually. I just got off the phone with him. He's pretty fantastic. I've seen him...I don't know, four or five times at this point? We've spoken in some way almost every day, even if it was just a few texts back and forth. He's taking me to the orchestra this Friday night. He's great.
Sara apparently wanted to know what I ended up making him for dinner a little while back! I made pizza. Not from SCRATCH, but I bought a crust, and pizza sauce, and cheese and vegetables and put it all together, which is a big step for me! We also had caesar salad and I made brownies for dessert. They weren't terribly good, unfortunately. The good news is I also had ice cream, which saved it.
I guess I've been so vague on here for a few reasons. First, I want to respect his privacy! I doubt he wants his personal life spread all over the internet. He hasn't even READ this blog (though he knows it exists of course), which should tell you how little interest he has in it. Second, I just don't want to jump the gun. I'm very ready to be in a relationship with him. He knows that. But he's not ready for that yet, which I of course respect. And if that never happens...If he for some reason decides that he's not interested in me anymore or if I say something dumb and drive him away, the last thing I want is a written record of every cute little thing about our time together. I'm the kind of stupid person who would read it over and over and cry and it just wouldn't be a good thing. So just in case that relationship never happens...I'm keeping things vague on this blog.
It's hard for me to sit back and wait for him to be ready, for lack of a better term. I like him so much. I really want to be able to introduce him to people as my boyfriend, and not second guess myself about if I'm calling him too often, and meet his friends, and feel solid about having a future together. I totally understand that I'm moving quickly, though, and I don't blame him for not being ready for that! We haven't known each other terribly long and I wouldn't want him to agree to a relationship without being sure that's what he wants. BUT it's hard for me to wait. I feel like a little kid in the backseat, saying, "Are we there yet? Are we there yet?" repeatedly until the driver gets annoyed and snap. So I'm trying not to ask if we're there yet. But that's hard. I wanted to let him drive, but I'm not a good passenger.
Either we'll get there eventually, in which case I'll be thrilled, or he'll decide to drop me off on the side of the road and I'll end up back where I started. But I do hope we get there.
Saturday, February 18, 2012
A Week of Ups and Downs
Hi all,
I felt like I should update, but I don't have terribly exciting things to say. It was an interesting week. You already know, of course, about the Kare 11 story on me. The reactions I've gotten have been interesting, to say the least. Some people are saying very nice things. Some people are saying that I looked like I just rolled out of bed, and if I knew I was going to be on TV, I could at least try to look nice. Trust me, I WISH I had looked better that day! I didn't know I was going to be on TV until about 25 minutes before it happened!
Valentine's Day is always an interesting holiday. For the past few years, I've hated it. This year, I was pretty neutral. Chance McGovern came over on the 13th. I made him dinner and we watched a movie. Thusly, I went into Valentine's Day with a pretty positive attitude - Knowing that, for the first time in years, there's someone who I really like and who likes me, too. Knowing that there's a prospect of a relationship evolving. So instead of hating Valentine's Day this year, it just felt like a normal day...A normal day where I ate a lot of chocolate.
After Chance left on Monday night, I glanced at Facebook and saw that my first love got engaged. I was 11 when Mitch and I met and, in my silly pre-teen world, I was immediately convinced that we were soul mates. We became good friends, and just after 8th grade graduation, we started dating. Our relationship was fraught with challenges from the beginning. We ended up breaking up, then getting back together, then breaking up, then getting back together...Ahh, the drama of middle/high school. We broke up for good in the fall of 2001. That was over 10 years ago! I vividly remember it, too - We were both Madrigal singers and we were lined up to enter our high school auditorium with the rest of the group. We were going to sing the Star-Spangled Banner to kick off some special event...This was shortly after 9/11. Just as we were about to walk onstage, Mitch leaned over to me and whispered "This isn't going to work out." HA. My rendition of the Star-Spangled Banner was a bit tearier than usual that night...
Despite the problems we had, I have so many good memories of our relationship. We went to Junior Prom together. He brought me back a beautiful music box from his trip to Europe. We would sit at Lilacia Park or Sunset Knolls and talk for hours. He used to make me mix-tapes...You know, back when cassettes were still in existence! Mitch is a really fantastic person. He's completely brilliant, he's funny, he's much more outgoing than I am, and he's very musically talented.
I wasn't a good match for him back in high school. We went our separate ways after graduation, but keep in touch through Facebook and the occasional phone call or text. When I'm back in the Chicago-area, I try to see him, but that hasn't happened in a while. So when I found out that he's engaged, it certainly wasn't a surprise to me - I knew that he'd been dating this girl and living with her for a while now. And I'm super happy for them! It's just...Weird. This is the first time one of my exes has gotten married, and it's a weird feeling. I'm not quite sure if I'm supposed to feel happy for them, or if I'm supposed to feel jealous, or if I'm supposed to not care at all.
I felt like I should update, but I don't have terribly exciting things to say. It was an interesting week. You already know, of course, about the Kare 11 story on me. The reactions I've gotten have been interesting, to say the least. Some people are saying very nice things. Some people are saying that I looked like I just rolled out of bed, and if I knew I was going to be on TV, I could at least try to look nice. Trust me, I WISH I had looked better that day! I didn't know I was going to be on TV until about 25 minutes before it happened!
Valentine's Day is always an interesting holiday. For the past few years, I've hated it. This year, I was pretty neutral. Chance McGovern came over on the 13th. I made him dinner and we watched a movie. Thusly, I went into Valentine's Day with a pretty positive attitude - Knowing that, for the first time in years, there's someone who I really like and who likes me, too. Knowing that there's a prospect of a relationship evolving. So instead of hating Valentine's Day this year, it just felt like a normal day...A normal day where I ate a lot of chocolate.
After Chance left on Monday night, I glanced at Facebook and saw that my first love got engaged. I was 11 when Mitch and I met and, in my silly pre-teen world, I was immediately convinced that we were soul mates. We became good friends, and just after 8th grade graduation, we started dating. Our relationship was fraught with challenges from the beginning. We ended up breaking up, then getting back together, then breaking up, then getting back together...Ahh, the drama of middle/high school. We broke up for good in the fall of 2001. That was over 10 years ago! I vividly remember it, too - We were both Madrigal singers and we were lined up to enter our high school auditorium with the rest of the group. We were going to sing the Star-Spangled Banner to kick off some special event...This was shortly after 9/11. Just as we were about to walk onstage, Mitch leaned over to me and whispered "This isn't going to work out." HA. My rendition of the Star-Spangled Banner was a bit tearier than usual that night...
Despite the problems we had, I have so many good memories of our relationship. We went to Junior Prom together. He brought me back a beautiful music box from his trip to Europe. We would sit at Lilacia Park or Sunset Knolls and talk for hours. He used to make me mix-tapes...You know, back when cassettes were still in existence! Mitch is a really fantastic person. He's completely brilliant, he's funny, he's much more outgoing than I am, and he's very musically talented.
I wasn't a good match for him back in high school. We went our separate ways after graduation, but keep in touch through Facebook and the occasional phone call or text. When I'm back in the Chicago-area, I try to see him, but that hasn't happened in a while. So when I found out that he's engaged, it certainly wasn't a surprise to me - I knew that he'd been dating this girl and living with her for a while now. And I'm super happy for them! It's just...Weird. This is the first time one of my exes has gotten married, and it's a weird feeling. I'm not quite sure if I'm supposed to feel happy for them, or if I'm supposed to feel jealous, or if I'm supposed to not care at all.
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
The Perilous Life of a "Famous" Blogger
So as many of you know, I was on Kare 11 yesterday.
Let me back up.
I was sitting at my desk yesterday afternoon, happily working, when I received an e-mail out of the blue from Jana Shortal. My initial thought was, "Who is Jana Shortal?" I don't have TV right now, so I don't watch the news. After googling her and determining that the e-mail was legit, I was even more confused. She said she wanted to interview me about this project, but...WHY? I'm not that interesting of a person. Besides, I was at work. It wasn't going to be possible.
But she was persistent. She said it would be a fun Valentine's Day story. And so after a few e-mails back and forth and a possibly reckless decision on my behalf, I agreed to let her come interview me as long as she would mention CLIMB Theatre on the air. We can always use the press, even if it's associated with such a weird story.
She said she'd be there in half an hour. That's when I started to panic. I hadn't put on any make-up that morning. I'd only had, like, five hours of sleep. My hair was thrown back in a ponytail. They wanted to put me on the news, looking like crap, to talk about a project that is currently on hold and I'm hoping will be defunct soon? WHY?
The good news is that Jana is ADORABLE, and despite my hesitation, it was actually a pleasure to meet her and chat with her for a while. She's cute, funny, and not at all what I was expecting when I was picturing the typical Minnesota reporter. Jana and her co-worker Monica set up cameras in our performance space, in front of one of our sets (because they liked it), and we talked for probably around an hour.
I was still nervous, though, especially because Chance and I have been getting along really well and I didn't want to make things weird between us. I feel like the more attention gets drawn to this project, the less it may seem like I'm sincere in my feelings toward him. Trust me, I'm sincere. He's fantastic, and I'm still very much hoping that things will continue between us. After Jana left I caught up on some work, went to Zumba class, went home, and called Chance. I was upset by this point and regretting my decision to be interviewed. He understood. He agrees, I think, that the brashness of this project isn't necessarily representative of who I really am or what I want out of a relationship. I'm glad he understands that and isn't holding this project against me!
Like I said before, I don't have TV, but I knew as soon as they aired the segment because I started getting texts and e-mails from my friends. I didn't get to watch it until this morning. It's not awful. I don't look great (no make-up, like I said, and the camera angle isn't too flattering). It's also a very short segment of course, which I expected, but it's hard to remember that we talked for almost an hour and then try to fit all of that into 90 seconds! Plus, it's just weird to see yourself on a major news station.
You can watch the story here: http://www.kare11.com/news/news_article.aspx?storyid=962112
Hello to everyone who came here because of Kare 11! I hope you enjoy what you read, even though the project is on hold right now. We'll see what happens in the future. I hope you all had a great Valentine's Day. Did anyone do anything exciting or out of the ordinary?
Let me back up.
I was sitting at my desk yesterday afternoon, happily working, when I received an e-mail out of the blue from Jana Shortal. My initial thought was, "Who is Jana Shortal?" I don't have TV right now, so I don't watch the news. After googling her and determining that the e-mail was legit, I was even more confused. She said she wanted to interview me about this project, but...WHY? I'm not that interesting of a person. Besides, I was at work. It wasn't going to be possible.
But she was persistent. She said it would be a fun Valentine's Day story. And so after a few e-mails back and forth and a possibly reckless decision on my behalf, I agreed to let her come interview me as long as she would mention CLIMB Theatre on the air. We can always use the press, even if it's associated with such a weird story.
She said she'd be there in half an hour. That's when I started to panic. I hadn't put on any make-up that morning. I'd only had, like, five hours of sleep. My hair was thrown back in a ponytail. They wanted to put me on the news, looking like crap, to talk about a project that is currently on hold and I'm hoping will be defunct soon? WHY?
The good news is that Jana is ADORABLE, and despite my hesitation, it was actually a pleasure to meet her and chat with her for a while. She's cute, funny, and not at all what I was expecting when I was picturing the typical Minnesota reporter. Jana and her co-worker Monica set up cameras in our performance space, in front of one of our sets (because they liked it), and we talked for probably around an hour.
I was still nervous, though, especially because Chance and I have been getting along really well and I didn't want to make things weird between us. I feel like the more attention gets drawn to this project, the less it may seem like I'm sincere in my feelings toward him. Trust me, I'm sincere. He's fantastic, and I'm still very much hoping that things will continue between us. After Jana left I caught up on some work, went to Zumba class, went home, and called Chance. I was upset by this point and regretting my decision to be interviewed. He understood. He agrees, I think, that the brashness of this project isn't necessarily representative of who I really am or what I want out of a relationship. I'm glad he understands that and isn't holding this project against me!
Like I said before, I don't have TV, but I knew as soon as they aired the segment because I started getting texts and e-mails from my friends. I didn't get to watch it until this morning. It's not awful. I don't look great (no make-up, like I said, and the camera angle isn't too flattering). It's also a very short segment of course, which I expected, but it's hard to remember that we talked for almost an hour and then try to fit all of that into 90 seconds! Plus, it's just weird to see yourself on a major news station.
You can watch the story here: http://www.kare11.com/news/news_article.aspx?storyid=962112
Hello to everyone who came here because of Kare 11! I hope you enjoy what you read, even though the project is on hold right now. We'll see what happens in the future. I hope you all had a great Valentine's Day. Did anyone do anything exciting or out of the ordinary?
Sunday, February 12, 2012
Number Four, Take Two
It's been an interesting (and fantasic) week.
Last Sunday, as you know, I met Four (AKA Chance McGovern). When last I updated, I said that I really liked him and thought we got along well, but wasn't sure if the feeling was mutual. Well, as it turns out, the feeling IS mutual, which is amazing to me. He texted me on Tuesday, and we talked on Wednesday, and we made plans to see each other again on Friday.
After work on Friday, I went over to his place. He made me dinner. We saw a movie. We talked a lot. And by the time I left, I was completely giddy and weak in the knees and couldn't stop smiling. I'm STILL smiling! He's...Amazing. I don't want to go into too much detail of course, and I don't know how well I can articulate at this point anyway, so I'll just keep saying that...He's amazing.
That means I'm in a weird spot with this project. Chance is of course aware of this project but hasn't asked me to stop going on blind dates. I'm also trying really hard not to count my chickens before they hatch...As much as I like him, and as much as I think he likes me, I don't know what he really wants. I don't know if he wants a girlfriend or if he's happy just casually dating. And I don't want to get too attached to him, and then find out that he's not interested in anything long-term. So I'm trying not to get too attached to him, but at the same time, I really think (and hope) that this could go somewhere.
So I'm going to put a pause on this project. I'm not calling it off altogether, at least not yet...But I'm going to pause and see where things go with Chance.
I'll still update every once in a while with random musings, so stay tuned. And if things don't go the way that I'm hoping with Chance, I'll let you know and start looking for dates again. But I am crossing my fingers really, REALLY hard that this intelligent, attractive, witty, amazing guy will be in my life on a more long-term basis!
Last Sunday, as you know, I met Four (AKA Chance McGovern). When last I updated, I said that I really liked him and thought we got along well, but wasn't sure if the feeling was mutual. Well, as it turns out, the feeling IS mutual, which is amazing to me. He texted me on Tuesday, and we talked on Wednesday, and we made plans to see each other again on Friday.
After work on Friday, I went over to his place. He made me dinner. We saw a movie. We talked a lot. And by the time I left, I was completely giddy and weak in the knees and couldn't stop smiling. I'm STILL smiling! He's...Amazing. I don't want to go into too much detail of course, and I don't know how well I can articulate at this point anyway, so I'll just keep saying that...He's amazing.
That means I'm in a weird spot with this project. Chance is of course aware of this project but hasn't asked me to stop going on blind dates. I'm also trying really hard not to count my chickens before they hatch...As much as I like him, and as much as I think he likes me, I don't know what he really wants. I don't know if he wants a girlfriend or if he's happy just casually dating. And I don't want to get too attached to him, and then find out that he's not interested in anything long-term. So I'm trying not to get too attached to him, but at the same time, I really think (and hope) that this could go somewhere.
So I'm going to put a pause on this project. I'm not calling it off altogether, at least not yet...But I'm going to pause and see where things go with Chance.
I'll still update every once in a while with random musings, so stay tuned. And if things don't go the way that I'm hoping with Chance, I'll let you know and start looking for dates again. But I am crossing my fingers really, REALLY hard that this intelligent, attractive, witty, amazing guy will be in my life on a more long-term basis!
Thursday, February 9, 2012
IGH Patch and Tomorrow Night
Hi All,
Brief update to tell you two things.
1. An interview I did with Inver Grove Heights Patch was published today: Click Here To Read My favorite part of that article, by FAR, is the comment section! I've definitely never been told that my problem is that I look like I'm 40. Nor have I ever been told that I should go hang out at the gun range if I want to meet eligible men. Ahhh, Minnesota.
2. Number Four, AKA Chance McGovern, contacted me on Tuesday. Only two days after our first date. And he wants to see me again, which I'm just thrilled about. So we're getting together again tomorrow night. And I'm excited!
Brief update to tell you two things.
1. An interview I did with Inver Grove Heights Patch was published today: Click Here To Read My favorite part of that article, by FAR, is the comment section! I've definitely never been told that my problem is that I look like I'm 40. Nor have I ever been told that I should go hang out at the gun range if I want to meet eligible men. Ahhh, Minnesota.
2. Number Four, AKA Chance McGovern, contacted me on Tuesday. Only two days after our first date. And he wants to see me again, which I'm just thrilled about. So we're getting together again tomorrow night. And I'm excited!
Monday, February 6, 2012
Date Number Four
I'm falling behind. I know. But the goods news is that yesterday, I had date number four. It WOULD have been on Friday night if I had not had an awful cold - I wasn't incapacitated or anything, I just would have made a terrible (mucus-filled) first impression. Fortunately we were able to reschedule, and so on Sunday, I had lunch with number four and only a tiny bit of nasal congestion.
From the beginning, this guy felt different. He never felt like a blind date or like he should be a part of this project. For one thing, we don't have any mutual friends - he was an eHarmony match. For another thing, we chatted a fair amount online before meeting. But he said that I can blog about him as long as I give him "an awesome pseudonym, like Chance McGovern, or something."
So Chance and I met for lunch at a Vietnamese restaurant in St. Paul. Throughout the process of deciding where to meet, he demonstrated an eclectic taste in food and extensive knowledge of restaurants that I can definitely appreciate. This particular restaurant, called Ngon, is on University in St. Paul and is absolutely adorable.
I don't know how to start about Chance without sounding really girly...He's pretty great. He's intelligent, and witty, and pretty darn good-looking (which I already knew, of course, from his eHarmony pictures). He immediately understood why my fish is named Tobias. He actually knows the show Sports Night, which surprised me and also made my heart flutter a bit. He's a writer. He seemed genuinely interested in what I was saying, even when I was talking about ridiculous things (I tend to ramble a bit when I'm nervous). We seem to have a lot in common.
He's so great, in fact, that I wonder if I'm good enough for him! I'm not trying to second guess myself or anything, I just don't know how I came across. Does he think I'm intelligent, or did I sound dumb? He asked me if I collect anything, which took me off on a whole long spiel - Did that make me sound weird? Was my hair too frizzy? Was I wearing too much make-up? I just...I got all nervous! That's so unlike me, too. I'm usually a fairly confident person. But he's the one that ended the date, and while he DID hug me, it was one of those half-hearted one-arm hugs. So I'm left feeling like a 1950's teenager, chewing my nails and wondering if he'll call me.
Of course, if he's reading this, I'm sure that last paragraph didn't help me sound "normal." Chance, if you're reading this, you're awesome. And I'm committed to being as honest as possible in this blog, so I feel like that last paragraph needs to stay, even if it makes me sound crazy. I hope you had a thrilling time with your laundry on Sunday (I have two loads going right now, finally) and I'd love to see you again.
Friends, this project is hard. Seriously. I've had four dates so far this year and that's more dates than I've had in the past four years combined. I feel like I'm straddling this weird line between "the only way I'll ever meet someone is to put myself out there like this" and "the kind of person I want to be with would think this project was ridiculous and probably discount me immediately." I don't know what to do at this point. I don't have any future dates lined up. I don't want to HAVE to have any future dates lined up! It's only February 6th...How am I questioning this so much already?
From the beginning, this guy felt different. He never felt like a blind date or like he should be a part of this project. For one thing, we don't have any mutual friends - he was an eHarmony match. For another thing, we chatted a fair amount online before meeting. But he said that I can blog about him as long as I give him "an awesome pseudonym, like Chance McGovern, or something."
So Chance and I met for lunch at a Vietnamese restaurant in St. Paul. Throughout the process of deciding where to meet, he demonstrated an eclectic taste in food and extensive knowledge of restaurants that I can definitely appreciate. This particular restaurant, called Ngon, is on University in St. Paul and is absolutely adorable.
I don't know how to start about Chance without sounding really girly...He's pretty great. He's intelligent, and witty, and pretty darn good-looking (which I already knew, of course, from his eHarmony pictures). He immediately understood why my fish is named Tobias. He actually knows the show Sports Night, which surprised me and also made my heart flutter a bit. He's a writer. He seemed genuinely interested in what I was saying, even when I was talking about ridiculous things (I tend to ramble a bit when I'm nervous). We seem to have a lot in common.
He's so great, in fact, that I wonder if I'm good enough for him! I'm not trying to second guess myself or anything, I just don't know how I came across. Does he think I'm intelligent, or did I sound dumb? He asked me if I collect anything, which took me off on a whole long spiel - Did that make me sound weird? Was my hair too frizzy? Was I wearing too much make-up? I just...I got all nervous! That's so unlike me, too. I'm usually a fairly confident person. But he's the one that ended the date, and while he DID hug me, it was one of those half-hearted one-arm hugs. So I'm left feeling like a 1950's teenager, chewing my nails and wondering if he'll call me.
Of course, if he's reading this, I'm sure that last paragraph didn't help me sound "normal." Chance, if you're reading this, you're awesome. And I'm committed to being as honest as possible in this blog, so I feel like that last paragraph needs to stay, even if it makes me sound crazy. I hope you had a thrilling time with your laundry on Sunday (I have two loads going right now, finally) and I'd love to see you again.
Friends, this project is hard. Seriously. I've had four dates so far this year and that's more dates than I've had in the past four years combined. I feel like I'm straddling this weird line between "the only way I'll ever meet someone is to put myself out there like this" and "the kind of person I want to be with would think this project was ridiculous and probably discount me immediately." I don't know what to do at this point. I don't have any future dates lined up. I don't want to HAVE to have any future dates lined up! It's only February 6th...How am I questioning this so much already?
Sunday, January 29, 2012
49 To Go...
I'm rather frustrated.
I know I've said this before, but I had no idea how hard it would be to find 52 people. I honestly thought that my friends would know people, and word would spread, and if I had to I'd find a few guys myself through okcupid or eHarmony.
What's actually happened, though, is that I've been on three dates. And I don't know what's next. I've tapped all of my resources - I've been bugging my friends for weeks. Many of them have shared this with THEIR friends. I've done eHarmony, and okcupid, and even tried Craigslist against my better judgment (and immediately remembered why I was trying to avoid going that route). I don't know what else to do!
I'm supposedly going on a double date with one of my friends, but there aren't any concrete plans for that. There was a guy in Austin who was going to do a Skype date with me, but he disappeared. So did a guy in Rochester that I was supposed to meet...Last week? I keep thinking that I have people lined up, and then for whatever reason, they keep falling through.
I was talking to one of my friends last week who said that he and his wife had brainstormed people with whom to set me up, but that he couldn't think of anyone that was "good enough for me." Here's my message to you, friends: I don't care!!! I mean, don't set me up with a serial killer or anything, but please don't think too much about weeding people out. It would be great to go on dates with 52 people that you actually think might be right for me. But that's not going to happen. So just set me up.
In the meantime, any advice on how to get 49 more dates this year? What haven't I considered yet?
I know I've said this before, but I had no idea how hard it would be to find 52 people. I honestly thought that my friends would know people, and word would spread, and if I had to I'd find a few guys myself through okcupid or eHarmony.
What's actually happened, though, is that I've been on three dates. And I don't know what's next. I've tapped all of my resources - I've been bugging my friends for weeks. Many of them have shared this with THEIR friends. I've done eHarmony, and okcupid, and even tried Craigslist against my better judgment (and immediately remembered why I was trying to avoid going that route). I don't know what else to do!
I'm supposedly going on a double date with one of my friends, but there aren't any concrete plans for that. There was a guy in Austin who was going to do a Skype date with me, but he disappeared. So did a guy in Rochester that I was supposed to meet...Last week? I keep thinking that I have people lined up, and then for whatever reason, they keep falling through.
I was talking to one of my friends last week who said that he and his wife had brainstormed people with whom to set me up, but that he couldn't think of anyone that was "good enough for me." Here's my message to you, friends: I don't care!!! I mean, don't set me up with a serial killer or anything, but please don't think too much about weeding people out. It would be great to go on dates with 52 people that you actually think might be right for me. But that's not going to happen. So just set me up.
In the meantime, any advice on how to get 49 more dates this year? What haven't I considered yet?
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
What Single People Wish Married People Knew
This morning, my friend Leslie posted this link on her Facebook:
What Single People Wish Married People Knew (will open in a new window)
Take a moment to read that, or at least skim it, and then come back here. Don't worry, I'll wait.
Done? Great. When I read this article today, I was struck by how representative it is of my feelings. I was particularly surprised by this because I am not a very religious person, and this article is written from a religious perspective. But even if you remove all of the God and Bible references, it is still completely representative of my feelings. I wanted to shout, "Yeah, Kate Hurley! I don't know who you are but you're SO RIGHT!"
I didn't, of course. My neighbors probably wouldn't have appreciated that at 7:30 this morning.
I've always heard that as soon as you stop looking for love, it will find you. That you should just live your own life, and be happy being single, and eventually you'll meet someone without even trying. I feel like I must be inferior somehow because I'm still single, but whenever I express that, I'm told that I need to "learn to love myself" before loving someone else.
That's complete BS.
I am perfectly happy with who I am as a person. I think I have a good personality, and I'm funny, and I'm intelligent. I have a job that I love (95% of the time) and friends that I love (99% of the time) and a fish that I love (when I remember he exists). My family is great. I have hobbies that keep me occupied in my spare time. It's not like I'm sitting around wallowing in my single-ness, waiting for some guy to come around and "complete me."
But that doesn't mean I'm happy being single. I am happy with who I am. I am unhappy being single. Those two feelings are not mutually exclusive!
I am not satisfied with my weight, so I go to Zumba 3-4 times a week. That's proactive. It's recognizing a problem and doing something about it. But if I'm not satisfied with my relationship status, I'm supposed to sit around and just wait for God, or fate, or whatever to find someone for me? I've tried that. It didn't work.
This project exists because being passive didn't work,and when a person doesn't get their desired result, they should try a new tactic. To those of you telling me that I need to be happy with myself first, or that I should just live my own life and wait for God to give me the right person, you can bite me.
Oh, but before you bite me, will you set me up with your single friends please? Because I need to line up some more people!
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
Date Number Three
On Sunday night, I went on date number three. Now let me be clear: Date number three was actually supposed to be date number four, but number three dropped off the face of the planet, so number four became number three. Did that just make things LESS clear? Probably. Moving on.
Three and I have a mutual friend, who I used to work with and thus know fairly well, but who Three doesn't know well at all. Even though their friendship isn't very close, said mutual friend knew from the get-go that Three and I wouldn't be terribly compatible. She told me that he is very, very nice, but not someone that she would think to set me up with. And her instinct turned out to be right on!
Three and I met for a late dinner and I could tell right away that he was in fact very, very nice. A little TOO nice for me, actually. It's not that I'm NOT nice, but I have a pretty sarcastic and bitter sense of humor and I didn't feel like Three would appreciate that. He was just SO nice.
He was also SO quiet. I am an introvert myself, so I definitely understand that he might have felt shy or nervous. Usually in social situations, I have to bump my B up a bit (predictive index FTW) to pretend to be a little more outgoing. In this situation, he was SO quiet that I felt like I had to lead every single conversation, and fill every single moment, or else we may have just sat in awkward silence the entire time. I am easily exhausted by feeling the need to be so extroverted!
All that aside, it really comes down to the fact that Three and I don't have much in common at all. We have very different interests, we lead very different lives, we have very different personalities. So, you know...It was a bit awkward.
Three, I hope you aren't reading this and thinking that I disliked you. Like I said, you are an insanely nice person and you seem like you would be a good friend. Thank you for the dinner!
I have more to say about just kind of general stuff, but I'll save that for another post... It's late, and I need to dedicate the next 34 minutes to trying to win Eric Hutchinson tickets before the contest closes. (Yes, Folks, this is what I do with my free time.)
Three and I have a mutual friend, who I used to work with and thus know fairly well, but who Three doesn't know well at all. Even though their friendship isn't very close, said mutual friend knew from the get-go that Three and I wouldn't be terribly compatible. She told me that he is very, very nice, but not someone that she would think to set me up with. And her instinct turned out to be right on!
Three and I met for a late dinner and I could tell right away that he was in fact very, very nice. A little TOO nice for me, actually. It's not that I'm NOT nice, but I have a pretty sarcastic and bitter sense of humor and I didn't feel like Three would appreciate that. He was just SO nice.
He was also SO quiet. I am an introvert myself, so I definitely understand that he might have felt shy or nervous. Usually in social situations, I have to bump my B up a bit (predictive index FTW) to pretend to be a little more outgoing. In this situation, he was SO quiet that I felt like I had to lead every single conversation, and fill every single moment, or else we may have just sat in awkward silence the entire time. I am easily exhausted by feeling the need to be so extroverted!
All that aside, it really comes down to the fact that Three and I don't have much in common at all. We have very different interests, we lead very different lives, we have very different personalities. So, you know...It was a bit awkward.
Three, I hope you aren't reading this and thinking that I disliked you. Like I said, you are an insanely nice person and you seem like you would be a good friend. Thank you for the dinner!
I have more to say about just kind of general stuff, but I'll save that for another post... It's late, and I need to dedicate the next 34 minutes to trying to win Eric Hutchinson tickets before the contest closes. (Yes, Folks, this is what I do with my free time.)
Thursday, January 12, 2012
Get thee to a nunnery!
The title of this post is not only a quote from "Hamlet" but also a shout-out to anyone reading this who may have been in my 12th grade English class.
About a week ago, I was sitting in my boss's office when my co-worker, Jess, made some sort of veiled comment about this project. This of course led to my boss asking me what was going on, and being the open person I am, I told her.
I expected her to either think it was cool or to think it was a terrible idea. As it turns out, she not only is completely fascinated by it and continuously asks me about my upcoming dates, she also had a similar story to tell!
"Did I ever tell you about my cousin, the nun?"
My co-worker and I shook our heads.
"One of my cousins was a nun, and a very accomplished one. She helped to found that children's hospital..." My boss thought for a moment before remembering the name. "St. Jude. She helped to found St. Jude. But she didn't always want to be a nun."
I wouldn't blame her.I mean, there aren't very many people who want to be nuns. It's a pretty thankless job and frankly sounds pretty boring to me. As I thought about this, my boss continued.
"When she first thought that maybe she was supposed to be a nun, she wasn't happy about it. The celibacy thing, you know. So she made a vow to herself: She was going to go on 100 dates, and if she didn't meet anyone special during those 100 dates, she would become a nun."
My boss stopped there, as if the story was over. I already knew the answer of course, but I asked anyway: "So...Did she go on the dates?"
"Oh, yes. And didn't meet anyone special, I guess."
And that was the end of the story. That was it! I mean, what's the moral there?! If this woman went on 100 dates and didn't find anyone special, how am I supposed to meet someone in just over half that many? Am I doomed to be alone for the rest of my life? Am I supposed to become a nun or something?
Sure, I suppose you can make the argument that the only reason she didn't meet anyone is because she was SUPPOSED to become a nun, it was God's plan, blah blah blah. If you believe in that stuff, fine. All I know is that right now, 52 dates is UNFATHOMABLE to me. I mean, I've gone on TWO and it's already tiring. Not the date themselves, those are fine. But the process of trying to find people, coordinate schedules, decide where to go...Ugh! It's tiring! And is anything going to come out of it? Am I going to meet someone special? Or am I doomed to a life of involuntary celibacy?
About a week ago, I was sitting in my boss's office when my co-worker, Jess, made some sort of veiled comment about this project. This of course led to my boss asking me what was going on, and being the open person I am, I told her.
I expected her to either think it was cool or to think it was a terrible idea. As it turns out, she not only is completely fascinated by it and continuously asks me about my upcoming dates, she also had a similar story to tell!
"Did I ever tell you about my cousin, the nun?"
My co-worker and I shook our heads.
"One of my cousins was a nun, and a very accomplished one. She helped to found that children's hospital..." My boss thought for a moment before remembering the name. "St. Jude. She helped to found St. Jude. But she didn't always want to be a nun."
I wouldn't blame her.I mean, there aren't very many people who want to be nuns. It's a pretty thankless job and frankly sounds pretty boring to me. As I thought about this, my boss continued.
"When she first thought that maybe she was supposed to be a nun, she wasn't happy about it. The celibacy thing, you know. So she made a vow to herself: She was going to go on 100 dates, and if she didn't meet anyone special during those 100 dates, she would become a nun."
My boss stopped there, as if the story was over. I already knew the answer of course, but I asked anyway: "So...Did she go on the dates?"
"Oh, yes. And didn't meet anyone special, I guess."
And that was the end of the story. That was it! I mean, what's the moral there?! If this woman went on 100 dates and didn't find anyone special, how am I supposed to meet someone in just over half that many? Am I doomed to be alone for the rest of my life? Am I supposed to become a nun or something?
Sure, I suppose you can make the argument that the only reason she didn't meet anyone is because she was SUPPOSED to become a nun, it was God's plan, blah blah blah. If you believe in that stuff, fine. All I know is that right now, 52 dates is UNFATHOMABLE to me. I mean, I've gone on TWO and it's already tiring. Not the date themselves, those are fine. But the process of trying to find people, coordinate schedules, decide where to go...Ugh! It's tiring! And is anything going to come out of it? Am I going to meet someone special? Or am I doomed to a life of involuntary celibacy?
Sunday, January 8, 2012
Date Number Two
Saturday was my blind date with number Two. Two suggested that we meet at a coffee shop in Uptown which, upon further research, is supposedly the most pretentious coffee shop around (at least that's what the reviews on Google say!). I don't drink coffee, but I was excited to go just because I'd never been to this particular place. An added bonus of this project is that I get to try a lot of new things!
When I walked into the coffee shop, Two was already standing there. First impression - CUTE. Just as cute as his Facebook picture. For those of you that don't know me, allow me to explain what I'm usually attracted to - I tend to date guys that are tall, skinny, kind of gawky and awkward but charming enough that they can pull it off. My mother once told a friend of mine that I only date "disfigured" people, and when I protested, she then went through ALL of my ex-boyfriends and proved she was right. But I like that kind of nerdy guy that looks just a little off, apparently. So anyway, when I say that number Two is cute, I don't mean "Julie cute." I mean ACTUALLY cute - Like, normal people would see him and go "Wow, he's handsome!"
So we made small talk in line for a few minutes. I ordered a hot chocolate, and the barista asked me if I wanted "stone-ground organic chocolate or chocolate syrup." I smiled in bemusement as I remembered all of the reviews calling this place "pretentious." We got our drinks and sat down in the back.
Two and I ended up chatting for about 2 1/2 hours and, as it turns out, he's awesome. Like, seriously awesome. He's completely brilliant - He's a science teacher with a Master's degree in neuroscience, which I can barely comprehend. He's done a little bit of improv. He bikes everywhere during the summer. He has a super-dry sense of humor. We got along pretty well, as evidenced by the lengthy conversation with only a few awkward pauses.
We chatted a little bit about our mutual friends, and he was surprised to hear that I've never met one of them in person. She an improviser as well, and he made the off-handed comment that he should take the time to see her perform sometime soon. I took that as my opportunity to be about as forward as I can, given the confines of this project, and said "If you do, you should bring me with you." He mentioned that again later, so hopefully my comment wasn't completely out of the blue...
Eventually, I had to go to work and he had to leave for a guitar lesson (swoon, right?). So he shook my hand and said goodbye, and that was that. Overall things went really well. He's pretty amazing. I don't know how he felt about me, and I don't know if more chemistry would build if we saw each other again...But I'd like the chance to find out!
Two, if you happen to be reading this, I had a great time talking to you! Good luck with your classes this semester. If you are at all interested in seeing me again, you know how to get ahold of me! Or feel free to leave a comment here and tell me how off-base I am and that you had a terrible time, whatever happens to be true.
Date three isn't officially set up yet, which is making me a little nervous. Keep sending people my way, please. This is going to be a long year if I have to set everything up at the last minute.
When I walked into the coffee shop, Two was already standing there. First impression - CUTE. Just as cute as his Facebook picture. For those of you that don't know me, allow me to explain what I'm usually attracted to - I tend to date guys that are tall, skinny, kind of gawky and awkward but charming enough that they can pull it off. My mother once told a friend of mine that I only date "disfigured" people, and when I protested, she then went through ALL of my ex-boyfriends and proved she was right. But I like that kind of nerdy guy that looks just a little off, apparently. So anyway, when I say that number Two is cute, I don't mean "Julie cute." I mean ACTUALLY cute - Like, normal people would see him and go "Wow, he's handsome!"
So we made small talk in line for a few minutes. I ordered a hot chocolate, and the barista asked me if I wanted "stone-ground organic chocolate or chocolate syrup." I smiled in bemusement as I remembered all of the reviews calling this place "pretentious." We got our drinks and sat down in the back.
Two and I ended up chatting for about 2 1/2 hours and, as it turns out, he's awesome. Like, seriously awesome. He's completely brilliant - He's a science teacher with a Master's degree in neuroscience, which I can barely comprehend. He's done a little bit of improv. He bikes everywhere during the summer. He has a super-dry sense of humor. We got along pretty well, as evidenced by the lengthy conversation with only a few awkward pauses.
We chatted a little bit about our mutual friends, and he was surprised to hear that I've never met one of them in person. She an improviser as well, and he made the off-handed comment that he should take the time to see her perform sometime soon. I took that as my opportunity to be about as forward as I can, given the confines of this project, and said "If you do, you should bring me with you." He mentioned that again later, so hopefully my comment wasn't completely out of the blue...
Eventually, I had to go to work and he had to leave for a guitar lesson (swoon, right?). So he shook my hand and said goodbye, and that was that. Overall things went really well. He's pretty amazing. I don't know how he felt about me, and I don't know if more chemistry would build if we saw each other again...But I'd like the chance to find out!
Two, if you happen to be reading this, I had a great time talking to you! Good luck with your classes this semester. If you are at all interested in seeing me again, you know how to get ahold of me! Or feel free to leave a comment here and tell me how off-base I am and that you had a terrible time, whatever happens to be true.
Date three isn't officially set up yet, which is making me a little nervous. Keep sending people my way, please. This is going to be a long year if I have to set everything up at the last minute.
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
Date Number One
This evening was my first blind date of the year, and it's only the fourth, so I think I'm doing pretty good on the timeline so far! "One" and I have a mutual friend, and when I asked her if I'd like him, her response was "You very well might." Sort of reassuring, right?
Right after work, I drove to Delano to meet One, who lives about two hours west of the cities. Unfortunately I left work a few minutes late and there was an accident on the highway, which rendered me about 10 minutes late. Great first impression, I know. I felt awful about being late, but he was very nice about it.
I joined him at the restaurant and we ended up chatting for a little over two hours. I had assumed that because we had this mutual friend, he would know at least a little bit about me. Incorrect assumption! When he asked me about my job, I said "I work at the same theatre company (mutual friend) worked at." Blank stare. Which is fine, but I sometimes feel like describing my job to non-self-defined artists either ends up sounding confusing or like a canned sales pitch of some sort.
One is working at a major retailer for whom I also used to work, so we had that in common. He's an aspiring photographer who is hoping to move to the cities sometime soon to pursue that career. Ultimately he would like to move to the Chicago area, which made me smile because that's where I grew up.
So we had plenty to talk about, and yet, I started feeling pretty bad about the whole situation. Up until now, it was just hypothetical and a fun, crazy challenge to go on 52 dates this year. But now I was sitting here, across from a really nice guy, knowing that in three days I'll be having coffee with Number Two. It felt like I wasn't really giving One a fair chance, and it almost felt disrespectful to him. Like "Hey, thanks for buying me dinner, but you're just a number on my blog."
I asked him how he felt about it, and he said that as long as the expectation is set from the beginning that I'm going to keep going on dates, it's fine. He thinks that even if I meet someone amazing, I should finish out the 52 dates because that's the mission I've set out to complete. I don't know how I feel about that idea, but I guess it doesn't matter yet anyway because as nice as One is, it's not exactly like we fell head-over-heels in love with each other! So I guess we'll see what happens as the year goes on.
So listen up potential dates, here's the deal: There's going to be another date after you, even if we really click. Don't take it personally. If we meet during the course of this project and you feel like we really connect and you want me to stop going on these dates, you're going to have to tell me that. I can't get wrapped up in trying to figure out how 52 guys feel. I can hardly ever figure out how ONE guy is feeling! If that happens, we'll figure it out from there.
Thanks, One, for driving so far to meet me and for buying me dinner! You're a nice guy (despite your reckless driving stories and numerous speeding tickets - not exactly the way to win over a police officer's daughter, by the way!) and I'm sure I'll run into you again sometime. Keep me updated on your potential move to the cities!
Date number two is Saturday morning. I still need to line up a bunch more, so send your single friends my way...
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
Thanks, Moon and Staci!
A quick break from work to say that I just talked to Moon and Staci, the afternoon hosts at KS95, and they happily agreed to pass this blog along to all of the Twin Cities listeners. Fantastic! So hopefully this will generate a bunch of people who might want to be a part of this project. If that's you, e-mail me!
And Moon and Staci are pretty great, so you should visit them here: http://www.ks95.com/shows/moonstaci
And Moon and Staci are pretty great, so you should visit them here: http://www.ks95.com/shows/moonstaci
Sunday, January 1, 2012
Happy New Year!
It's January 1st (at least for another 30 minutes or so) and that means this project has officially begun. However, it isn't proving as easy as I had hoped...I guess the reason my friends haven't set me up with anyone over the past five years is honestly that they don't have any single, male acquaintances!
Meeting 52 guys this year is going to be REALLY hard, it seems. I'm already having to step outside of my circle of friends, but I don't want to do anything too crazy to hit that number.
I don't have much to say right now, really. I just felt like I should update and encourage you, if you're reading this, to PLEASE pass it to your single male friends, or your friends who might have single male friends, or just pass it to random strangers on the street and tell them to e-mail me. If I knew 52 single males, I wouldn't have to do this in the first place!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)