Sunday, April 1, 2012

Finally, An Update

Well hello, blog-readers! It's been a while, eh? I have a lot of excuses for not updating in almost a month: Busy at work, dealing with a death in my family, hanging out with Chance every possible moment... But in reality, I haven't updated simply because not much has changed in my dating life. And that's what this blog is supposed to be about, right?

Chance is still very much a part of my life, and I am still very happy about this. No, we're not officially a couple yet. But no, neither of us are seeing other people. And yes, I would love for him to be my boyfriend whenever he's ready to make that jump. Well really, I don't consider it much of a jump at all. From my perspective, absolutely nothing would change. But I know it's a jump for him, so I'm being patient and enjoying the time I have with him.

And really, that's it. No recent blind dates, no crazy stories, no articles or TV interviews. Thank goodness! So is this blog going to die out? Yeah, probably. I mean, I'll still update if I actually do have something to say... But right now, there just isn't much to say.

I got a comment lately that asked why I chose to blog about this. I feel like I've answered this hundreds of times, but I'll say it again in case any of you are wondering the same thing. I never expected that anyone other than my close friends and my mom would want to read this. I decided to blog about my blind dates so that I wouldn't have to repeat the details a bunch of times - my friends could just read about it. It was easier. I also wanted a part of this project to fulfill the more creative part of my personality. The past two years, I've done Project 365, and since I'm taking fewer pictures this year, I needed something else to fill that space.

Chance is in Seattle this weekend visiting a friend. A trip of which I am very jealous, as I've never been to Seattle! So I'm working on getting some things in order around my apartment and then probably helping a friend move later today. Happy Sunday!

Sunday, March 4, 2012

28 Days Later

Goodness, I haven't updated in a LONG time! My apologies. I've thought of it a few times, but the internet at my apartment has been spotty lately, and it seems like every time I want to update I'm not able to get online. I should get that fixed.

Things with Chance are still going very well. Tomorrow will be one month since our first date. We hung out for most of the day today and went to see "The Artist," which was quite good (not surprising, of course, given all of the awards it won). He's incredibly sweet. It seems like every time I feel like I've said something stupid or screwed things up in some way, he responds in the absolute perfect way. Like last night, I had a really awful headache - verging on a migraine - and couldn't really do anything but lie in the dark and try not to move. And instead of feeling like he was wasting his time (which I might have in his shoes) or just leaving and checking in on my later, he got me an ice pack for my head, turned off all of my lights, and laid next to me. Like, seriously, he's amazing.

No, we are not officially a couple yet. That's in his hands. He knows that I want to be and, while I understand his point of view and I certainly am not trying to pressure him, I'm a little frustrated because I don't feel like anything would change. I guess I'm not sure what's stopping him from making this "official." Neither of us are dating other people or want to be, we see each other two or three times a week, and he texts or calls me almost every day on his own accord. How would anything be different if we were in a relationship? It WOULDN'T be. The only difference is that I could introduce him to people as my boyfriend instead of awkwardly being like "This is, umm, Chance..."

Meh. Whatever. Really, this is a very minor annoyance in the grand scheme of things and I'm trying very hard not to pressure him in any way. Which is hard for me, because I'm a pretty assertive person, as you all know...But I'm trying to chill out for once!

Very busy week coming up. I'll try and update again in a few days (I have a few things I want to post about but wasn't able to while my internet was down) but I make no promises! We'll see how much time I have...

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Taking a "Chance"

A few days ago I talked to my mom on the phone. The first thing she said: "Is everything OK with Chance?" Apparently by being fairly vague on this blog, it gave the impression that something bad had happened. She also told me that one of her friends (hi, Sara!) wanted more details. "Inquiring minds want to know," she said. So here are a few details!

Things are fine with Chance. Great, actually. I just got off the phone with him. He's pretty fantastic. I've seen him...I don't know, four or five times at this point? We've spoken in some way almost every day, even if it was just a few texts back and forth. He's taking me to the orchestra this Friday night. He's great.

Sara apparently wanted to know what I ended up making him for dinner a little while back! I made pizza. Not from SCRATCH, but I bought a crust, and pizza sauce, and cheese and vegetables and put it all together, which is a big step for me! We also had caesar salad and I made brownies for dessert. They weren't terribly good, unfortunately. The good news is I also had ice cream, which saved it.

I guess I've been so vague on here for a few reasons. First, I want to respect his privacy! I doubt he wants his personal life spread all over the internet. He hasn't even READ this blog (though he knows it exists of course), which should tell you how little interest he has in it. Second, I just don't want to jump the gun. I'm very ready to be in a relationship with him. He knows that. But he's not ready for that yet, which I of course respect. And if that never happens...If he for some reason decides that he's not interested in me anymore or if I say something dumb and drive him away, the last thing I want is a written record of every cute little thing about our time together. I'm the kind of stupid person who would read it over and over and cry and it just wouldn't be a good thing. So just in case that relationship never happens...I'm keeping things vague on this blog.

It's hard for me to sit back and wait for him to be ready, for lack of a better term. I like him so much. I really want to be able to introduce him to people as my boyfriend, and not second guess myself about if I'm calling him too often, and meet his friends, and feel solid about having a future together. I totally understand that I'm moving quickly, though, and I don't blame him for not being ready for that! We haven't known each other terribly long and I wouldn't want him to agree to a relationship without being sure that's what he wants. BUT it's hard for me to wait. I feel like a little kid in the backseat, saying, "Are we there yet? Are we there yet?" repeatedly until the driver gets annoyed and snap. So I'm trying not to ask if we're there yet. But that's hard. I wanted to let him drive, but I'm not a good passenger.

Either we'll get there eventually, in which case I'll be thrilled, or he'll decide to drop me off on the side of the road and I'll end up back where I started. But I do hope we get there.

Saturday, February 18, 2012

A Week of Ups and Downs

Hi all,

I felt like I should update, but I don't have terribly exciting things to say. It was an interesting week. You already know, of course, about the Kare 11 story on me. The reactions I've gotten have been interesting, to say the least. Some people are saying very nice things. Some people are saying that I looked like I just rolled out of bed, and if I knew I was going to be on TV, I could at least try to look nice. Trust me, I WISH I had looked better that day! I didn't know I was going to be on TV until about 25 minutes before it happened!

Valentine's Day is always an interesting holiday. For the past few years, I've hated it. This year, I was pretty neutral. Chance McGovern came over on the 13th. I made him dinner and we watched a movie. Thusly, I went into Valentine's Day with a pretty positive attitude - Knowing that, for the first time in years, there's someone who I really like and who likes me, too. Knowing that there's a prospect of a relationship evolving. So instead of hating Valentine's Day this year, it just felt like a normal day...A normal day where I ate a lot of chocolate.

After Chance left on Monday night, I glanced at Facebook and saw that my first love got engaged. I was 11 when Mitch and I met and, in my silly pre-teen world, I was immediately convinced that we were soul mates. We became good friends, and just after 8th grade graduation, we started dating. Our relationship was fraught with challenges from the beginning. We ended up breaking up, then getting back together, then breaking up, then getting back together...Ahh, the drama of middle/high school. We broke up for good in the fall of 2001. That was over 10 years ago! I vividly remember it, too - We were both Madrigal singers and we were lined up to enter our high school auditorium with the rest of the group. We were going to sing the Star-Spangled Banner to kick off some special event...This was shortly after 9/11. Just as we were about to walk onstage, Mitch leaned over to me and whispered "This isn't going to work out." HA. My rendition of the Star-Spangled Banner was a bit tearier than usual that night...

Despite the problems we had, I have so many good memories of our relationship. We went to Junior Prom together. He brought me back a beautiful music box from his trip to Europe. We would sit at Lilacia Park or Sunset Knolls and talk for hours. He used to make me mix-tapes...You know, back when cassettes were still in existence! Mitch is a really fantastic person. He's completely brilliant, he's funny, he's much more outgoing than I am, and he's very musically talented.

I wasn't a good match for him back in high school. We went our separate ways after graduation, but keep in touch through Facebook and the occasional phone call or text. When I'm back in the Chicago-area, I try to see him, but that hasn't happened in a while. So when I found out that he's engaged, it certainly wasn't a surprise to me - I knew that he'd been dating this girl and living with her for a while now. And I'm super happy for them! It's just...Weird. This is the first time one of my exes has gotten married, and it's a weird feeling. I'm not quite sure if I'm supposed to feel happy for them, or if I'm supposed to feel jealous, or if I'm supposed to not care at all.

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

The Perilous Life of a "Famous" Blogger

So as many of you know, I was on Kare 11 yesterday.

Let me back up.

I was sitting at my desk yesterday afternoon, happily working, when I received an e-mail out of the blue from Jana Shortal. My initial thought was, "Who is Jana Shortal?" I don't have TV right now, so I don't watch the news. After googling her and determining that the e-mail was legit, I was even more confused. She said she wanted to interview me about this project, but...WHY? I'm not that interesting of a person. Besides, I was at work. It wasn't going to be possible.

But she was persistent. She said it would be a fun Valentine's Day story. And so after a few e-mails back and forth and a possibly reckless decision on my behalf, I agreed to let her come interview me as long as she would mention CLIMB Theatre on the air. We can always use the press, even if it's associated with such a weird story.

She said she'd be there in half an hour. That's when I started to panic. I hadn't put on any make-up that morning. I'd only had, like, five hours of sleep. My hair was thrown back in a ponytail. They wanted to put me on the news, looking like crap, to talk about a project that is currently on hold and I'm hoping will be defunct soon? WHY?

The good news is that Jana is ADORABLE, and despite my hesitation, it was actually a pleasure to meet her and chat with her for a while. She's cute, funny, and not at all what I was expecting when I was picturing the typical Minnesota reporter. Jana and her co-worker Monica set up cameras in our performance space, in front of one of our sets (because they liked it), and we talked for probably around an hour.

I was still nervous, though, especially because Chance and I have been getting along really well and I didn't want to make things weird between us. I feel like the more attention gets drawn to this project, the less it may seem like I'm sincere in my feelings toward him. Trust me, I'm sincere. He's fantastic, and I'm still very much hoping that things will continue between us. After Jana left I caught up on some work, went to Zumba class, went home, and called Chance. I was upset by this point and regretting my decision to be interviewed. He understood. He agrees, I think, that the brashness of this project isn't necessarily representative of who I really am or what I want out of a relationship. I'm glad he understands that and isn't holding this project against me!

Like I said before, I don't have TV, but I knew as soon as they aired the segment because I started getting texts and e-mails from my friends. I didn't get to watch it until this morning. It's not awful. I don't look great (no make-up, like I said, and the camera angle isn't too flattering). It's also a very short segment of course, which I expected, but it's hard to remember that we talked for almost an hour and then try to fit all of that into 90 seconds! Plus, it's just weird to see yourself on a major news station.

You can watch the story here:

Hello to everyone who came here because of Kare 11! I hope you enjoy what you read, even though the project is on hold right now. We'll see what happens in the future. I hope you all had a great Valentine's Day. Did anyone do anything exciting or out of the ordinary?

Sunday, February 12, 2012

Number Four, Take Two

It's been an interesting (and fantasic) week.

Last Sunday, as you know, I met Four (AKA Chance McGovern). When last I updated, I said that I really liked him and thought we got along well, but wasn't sure if the feeling was mutual. Well, as it turns out, the feeling IS mutual, which is amazing to me. He texted me on Tuesday, and we talked on Wednesday, and we made plans to see each other again on Friday.

After work on Friday, I went over to his place. He made me dinner. We saw a movie. We talked a lot. And by the time I left, I was completely giddy and weak in the knees and couldn't stop smiling. I'm STILL smiling! He's...Amazing. I don't want to go into too much detail of course, and I don't know how well I can articulate at this point anyway, so I'll just keep saying that...He's amazing.

That means I'm in a weird spot with this project. Chance is of course aware of this project but hasn't asked me to stop going on blind dates. I'm also trying really hard not to count my chickens before they hatch...As much as I like him, and as much as I think he likes me, I don't know what he really wants. I don't know if he wants a girlfriend or if he's happy just casually dating. And I don't want to get too attached to him, and then find out that he's not interested in anything long-term. So I'm trying not to get too attached to him, but at the same time, I really think (and hope) that this could go somewhere.

So I'm going to put a pause on this project. I'm not calling it off altogether, at least not yet...But I'm going to pause and see where things go with Chance.

I'll still update every once in a while with random musings, so stay tuned. And if things don't go the way that I'm hoping with Chance, I'll let you know and start looking for dates again. But I am crossing my fingers really, REALLY hard that this intelligent, attractive, witty, amazing guy will be in my life on a more long-term basis!

Thursday, February 9, 2012

IGH Patch and Tomorrow Night

Hi All,

Brief update to tell you two things.

1. An interview I did with Inver Grove Heights Patch was published today: Click Here To Read  My favorite part of that article, by FAR, is the comment section! I've definitely never been told that my problem is that I look like I'm 40. Nor have I ever been told that I should go hang out at the gun range if I want to meet eligible men. Ahhh, Minnesota.

2. Number Four, AKA Chance McGovern, contacted me on Tuesday. Only two days after our first date. And he wants to see me again, which I'm just thrilled about. So we're getting together again tomorrow night. And I'm excited!