Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Taking a "Chance"

A few days ago I talked to my mom on the phone. The first thing she said: "Is everything OK with Chance?" Apparently by being fairly vague on this blog, it gave the impression that something bad had happened. She also told me that one of her friends (hi, Sara!) wanted more details. "Inquiring minds want to know," she said. So here are a few details!

Things are fine with Chance. Great, actually. I just got off the phone with him. He's pretty fantastic. I've seen him...I don't know, four or five times at this point? We've spoken in some way almost every day, even if it was just a few texts back and forth. He's taking me to the orchestra this Friday night. He's great.

Sara apparently wanted to know what I ended up making him for dinner a little while back! I made pizza. Not from SCRATCH, but I bought a crust, and pizza sauce, and cheese and vegetables and put it all together, which is a big step for me! We also had caesar salad and I made brownies for dessert. They weren't terribly good, unfortunately. The good news is I also had ice cream, which saved it.

I guess I've been so vague on here for a few reasons. First, I want to respect his privacy! I doubt he wants his personal life spread all over the internet. He hasn't even READ this blog (though he knows it exists of course), which should tell you how little interest he has in it. Second, I just don't want to jump the gun. I'm very ready to be in a relationship with him. He knows that. But he's not ready for that yet, which I of course respect. And if that never happens...If he for some reason decides that he's not interested in me anymore or if I say something dumb and drive him away, the last thing I want is a written record of every cute little thing about our time together. I'm the kind of stupid person who would read it over and over and cry and it just wouldn't be a good thing. So just in case that relationship never happens...I'm keeping things vague on this blog.

It's hard for me to sit back and wait for him to be ready, for lack of a better term. I like him so much. I really want to be able to introduce him to people as my boyfriend, and not second guess myself about if I'm calling him too often, and meet his friends, and feel solid about having a future together. I totally understand that I'm moving quickly, though, and I don't blame him for not being ready for that! We haven't known each other terribly long and I wouldn't want him to agree to a relationship without being sure that's what he wants. BUT it's hard for me to wait. I feel like a little kid in the backseat, saying, "Are we there yet? Are we there yet?" repeatedly until the driver gets annoyed and snap. So I'm trying not to ask if we're there yet. But that's hard. I wanted to let him drive, but I'm not a good passenger.

Either we'll get there eventually, in which case I'll be thrilled, or he'll decide to drop me off on the side of the road and I'll end up back where I started. But I do hope we get there.


  1. Hey Julie,

    I think I've liked and commented on enough of your status updates to let you know that I'm enjoying reading about your project. after reading this post, I really want to share my thoughts with you. I've been dating my bf for three years and we just moved in together last month. We've shared a lot of moments that have defined us as a couple, and changed the way we see each other. even three years later, one of the most important periods was when we were getting to know each other, without a title, without any certainty. at the time, it was agony not knowing what we were to each other, what the other was thinking. But it was fun. Exciting. That excitement of someone new fades, and it is replaced with lots of other great things. But you'll never feel that way again. Sometimes I'd like to go back and relive one of those days with him, talking on the phone for hours and having butterflies. If we hadn't taken it slow, I know we wouldn't be the couple we are today. So enjoy the agonizing, exciting, I just want a guarantee part. and don't try to speed things up. You'll get there at the right pace, even if he doesn't turn out to be the lucky one. Just try to stop and smell the mashed potato scented candle. :)

  2. Amen to Etoile's comments. I KNOW you're used to driving but try to let go and just enjoy the scenery. Slow and steady worked for us, don't ya know?

  3. I was seeing my now boyfriend for a month before he very cutely asked me one day "So can I assume your my girlfriend now?" and we were spending 2+ nights a week and all weekend together from date 4 onward. If you're meant to get there, you will. But I agree with the above posts. Enjoy the butterflies and the anticipation, because you'll miss them when they are gone. And if he thinks you're being too clingy/pushy/moving too fast then he's not the right one. If he really likes you and wants to be with you, that stuff won't deter him. Good luck! I miss you! ~ Liz

  4. I've only just read that your project is on hold? Well good luck with chance. Can't believe I completed my whole blind date marathon without finding a chance!