A few days ago I talked to my mom on the phone. The first thing she said: "Is everything OK with Chance?" Apparently by being fairly vague on this blog, it gave the impression that something bad had happened. She also told me that one of her friends (hi, Sara!) wanted more details. "Inquiring minds want to know," she said. So here are a few details!
Things are fine with Chance. Great, actually. I just got off the phone with him. He's pretty fantastic. I've seen him...I don't know, four or five times at this point? We've spoken in some way almost every day, even if it was just a few texts back and forth. He's taking me to the orchestra this Friday night. He's great.
Sara apparently wanted to know what I ended up making him for dinner a little while back! I made pizza. Not from SCRATCH, but I bought a crust, and pizza sauce, and cheese and vegetables and put it all together, which is a big step for me! We also had caesar salad and I made brownies for dessert. They weren't terribly good, unfortunately. The good news is I also had ice cream, which saved it.
I guess I've been so vague on here for a few reasons. First, I want to respect his privacy! I doubt he wants his personal life spread all over the internet. He hasn't even READ this blog (though he knows it exists of course), which should tell you how little interest he has in it. Second, I just don't want to jump the gun. I'm very ready to be in a relationship with him. He knows that. But he's not ready for that yet, which I of course respect. And if that never happens...If he for some reason decides that he's not interested in me anymore or if I say something dumb and drive him away, the last thing I want is a written record of every cute little thing about our time together. I'm the kind of stupid person who would read it over and over and cry and it just wouldn't be a good thing. So just in case that relationship never happens...I'm keeping things vague on this blog.
It's hard for me to sit back and wait for him to be ready, for lack of a better term. I like him so much. I really want to be able to introduce him to people as my boyfriend, and not second guess myself about if I'm calling him too often, and meet his friends, and feel solid about having a future together. I totally understand that I'm moving quickly, though, and I don't blame him for not being ready for that! We haven't known each other terribly long and I wouldn't want him to agree to a relationship without being sure that's what he wants. BUT it's hard for me to wait. I feel like a little kid in the backseat, saying, "Are we there yet? Are we there yet?" repeatedly until the driver gets annoyed and snap. So I'm trying not to ask if we're there yet. But that's hard. I wanted to let him drive, but I'm not a good passenger.
Either we'll get there eventually, in which case I'll be thrilled, or he'll decide to drop me off on the side of the road and I'll end up back where I started. But I do hope we get there.