What Single People Wish Married People Knew (will open in a new window)
Take a moment to read that, or at least skim it, and then come back here. Don't worry, I'll wait.
Done? Great. When I read this article today, I was struck by how representative it is of my feelings. I was particularly surprised by this because I am not a very religious person, and this article is written from a religious perspective. But even if you remove all of the God and Bible references, it is still completely representative of my feelings. I wanted to shout, "Yeah, Kate Hurley! I don't know who you are but you're SO RIGHT!"
I didn't, of course. My neighbors probably wouldn't have appreciated that at 7:30 this morning.
I've always heard that as soon as you stop looking for love, it will find you. That you should just live your own life, and be happy being single, and eventually you'll meet someone without even trying. I feel like I must be inferior somehow because I'm still single, but whenever I express that, I'm told that I need to "learn to love myself" before loving someone else.
That's complete BS.
I am perfectly happy with who I am as a person. I think I have a good personality, and I'm funny, and I'm intelligent. I have a job that I love (95% of the time) and friends that I love (99% of the time) and a fish that I love (when I remember he exists). My family is great. I have hobbies that keep me occupied in my spare time. It's not like I'm sitting around wallowing in my single-ness, waiting for some guy to come around and "complete me."
But that doesn't mean I'm happy being single. I am happy with who I am. I am unhappy being single. Those two feelings are not mutually exclusive!
I am not satisfied with my weight, so I go to Zumba 3-4 times a week. That's proactive. It's recognizing a problem and doing something about it. But if I'm not satisfied with my relationship status, I'm supposed to sit around and just wait for God, or fate, or whatever to find someone for me? I've tried that. It didn't work.
This project exists because being passive didn't work,and when a person doesn't get their desired result, they should try a new tactic. To those of you telling me that I need to be happy with myself first, or that I should just live my own life and wait for God to give me the right person, you can bite me.
Oh, but before you bite me, will you set me up with your single friends please? Because I need to line up some more people!